Take a look at yourself first, please minister

Thursday January 05, 2017 Published in Smoke Signals

ALBERT SHOULD LOOK at himself first. When it comes to poaching players, he is the master. He should also keep in mind that goes around comes around. I believe he poached Takuvaine players and Tupapa players to play for the Avatiu Eels. The same players who he has been abusing on the field. 



IT’S SO FUNNY that the Avatiu league coach, complains about other clubs poaching his players, what about him poaching our Takuvaine players? What goes around comes around.


SUDDENLY JUST BECAUSE the outgoing chief of staff at the Office of the Prime Minister is of the female gender, her resignation is commented on as if it were based on a gender issue. That is sexist rubbish. When her male predecessor was replaced no such comments were made.


“HOW RUDE!” A smoke signaller says. “The PM and his wife have the time to greet the singer and actress Mya at the airport, but couldn’t make it to greet all of our Miss Cook Islands.”


THE POLICE AREN’T picking on tourists when it comes to applying the motorcycle helmet law because there’s plenty of evidence on the roads this week that the cops are turning a blind eye to just about every motorcyclist who fails to wear a helmet, a smoke signaller says. “On Monday I followed a very young local couple who not only had no helmets, but the woman on the back was texting on her phone and paying no attention to the road. The motorbike had no rear vision mirrors – and no registration plates. Then yesterday I was driving through town when I saw three tourists ride past the police station,  all of them wearing those trendy little pork pie hats. I don’t think that kind of headwear would help much in the event of a crash.”


DEAR ESTHER HONEY, please humanely get rid of the unwanted kittens. There are more cats than there are people to look after them.


“I DON’T KNOW what to make of all the gloomy musings by David Lewis in the weekly “newspaper,” a smoke signaller says. In his view, life in the past was better than it is nowadays. Well, perhaps it was for some, but I for one fail to see how his description living in a local shack with two rooms for six people would be ideal. Nor would living in a community that would consider it fair to throw a young man’s motorbike into the sea if he brought one back from overseas. As for some of the people who he names as if they were heroes; at least two allegedly absconded with public funds for their own use. Another two have, I believe, conducted themselves in a less than ethical ways in at least some of their business and professional dealings. 


WHAT PLANET ARE women working on? The chief of staff at the Office of the Prime Minister has the highest ranking public service position, perhaps exceeding even that of Public Service Commissioner.


A SMOKE SIGNALLER who visited a number of island resorts while escorting a visitor around Rarotonga at the weekend reports that he was totally embarrassed by the service (or lack of it) at a number of them. Oddly, he says, the level of service did not depend on the quality of the resort, with the swankiest one being among the worst. “We called in for a snack and they were delivered to the table soon enough, but the portions were tiny for the price and the island fries were small in quantity and very bland. They desperately needed seasoning but there was no salt and pepper in sight. So my wife borrowed a set of shakers from another table. One had a brown base and the either a white one, indicating that it contained salt. However, they both contained only pepper. The waiter resisted all of our attempts to attract our attention and just wouldn’t look our way. Eventually we found a shaker at another table that actually contained salt, but this sort of thing shouldn’t happen at a premium resort that charges huge prices and puts itself up with the island’s best.” The smoke signaller plans to tell us soon about his group’s experiences at some of the other establishments they visited.


THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND has finished and Avarua has lurched back into life, becoming clogged with traffic on Wednesday morning as more tourists arrived, and residents came to town to do their shopping. One smoke signaller says the traffic has become so bad it can take ages to cross the main road.  He reckons the island may soon need its first set of traffic lights.

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