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OPINION: Understanding the beauty of the full blooming rose

Monday 8 November 2021 | Written by Ruta Tangiiau Mave | Published in Opinion

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OPINION: Understanding the beauty of the full blooming rose
Singer Nick Jonas, 29, is married to actress Priyanka Chopra, 39. 21110701

The misconception of strong women is not that they have attitudes, it’s because they have standards – just like a teabag, the best way to find out how strong a woman really is, is by dropping her into hot water.

It’s a long rocky road of expectations for one born as a female, starting from the cradle, ‘oh, isn’t she pretty, the boys will love her, oh, do you have a boyfriend’? They ask when she is six, 16, 25, 40, ‘oh when are you going to get married’? She thinks to herself, why? I haven’t done anything wrong.

People say if only I was 20 again, I say who would want to be at the precipice of that wide ravine once again? The fragility of youth in mind, body and spirit is not a place I want to revisit, but as a single woman of accumulated years, despite my ability to live and enjoy my life, I’m still asked about my status, ‘Do you have a boyfriend? Have you met someone? Why, don’t you go on Tinder!’ Is there no end to the belief a woman needs a man to be complete? A meme popped up asking, ‘How many women can survive without a man paying for her? I’ll wait’ I thought how rude! Wait for what? For her to pay for you? Most woman survive plenty without a man, because she’s not having to pay for all his mistakes, needs and wants.

Certainly being a strong, independent woman means being labeled – difficult, bossy, abrasive, ambitious, stubborn, fierce, brave, emotional. It really doesn’t take a lot to be considered difficult that’s why there are so many of us. These labels only describe women, everyone has emotions but you never hear of a man being called emotional, he’s considered angry, not brave but courageous, aggressive not abrasive. When rumours are spread about a woman who knows her own mind and speaks it, they should be met with caution because if it’s spoken by a man, it’s because she doesn’t tolerate or want him, and if it’s said by a woman, it’s because she can’t compete with her. The misconception of strong women is not that they have attitudes it’s because they have standards, just like a teabag the best way to find out how strong a woman really is, is by dropping her into hot water.

There are many strong independent women in the world and more of them are leading countries, large companies and fighting for world peace, justice and the environment.

Sadly, these women come under the ire of the people, regretfully, regardless of our modern takes on the world equality and equity are far from being a natural occurrence across all corners of the round earth, in every situation from business, pleasure and sports. 

When it comes to pairing, a woman with a younger partner she’s called a Cougar, often teased in derogatory tones, unlike calling an older man with a younger woman a Tiger, when in reality what he’s often called is rich.

Society struggles with the older female younger male relationship. Court cases are given more media if she’s the older teacher and he’s the younger student than the other way around. There is even an equation that applies for the older man when hunting for a younger partner.

He takes his age, divides by two then adds 7 years, for an acceptable age gap. If age is mind over matter, then if the two involved don’t mind then it shouldn’t matter to anyone else. Realistically, for the younger woman, most men don’t grow up anyway, but an older woman needs to contemplate her future as a babysitter or a nurse maid.

Most men don’t understand the beauty of the full blooming rose. An older woman will not lie next to you in bed and ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think. If she doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it, she does something she wants to do, and, it’s usually something more interesting. Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the bar or in the middle of the soccer pitch. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. She’s forthright and honest. She’ll tell you right off if you’re a jerk or if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. But for every stunning, intelligent, talented, hot older woman there is a grey, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress.

There are woman setting the scene for others, Madonna at 55 her boyfriend was 22, Tina Turner at 75, had a lover who was 40, and JLo, when 42 dated a 26 year old. This tells me for all you beautiful, sexy, sassy, blooming woman out there, if you’re still single, relax your boyfriend hasn’t been born yet!