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Life is not a fairytale …

Monday 13 March 2023 | Written by Supplied | Published in Opinion


Life is not a fairytale …
Ruta Tangiiau Mave. Photo: CI NEWS

The problem with Disney fairytales is that after abandonment abuse bullying and slavery, the young helpless girl is saved by a young handsome man with a sword but no other real-life skills. He does not have a job or his own house, he is still living at home with his parents in the castle, writes Ruta Mave.

Regardless the MAFS (married at first sight) starry eyed lovers live happily ever after until the sequel. Then things take a change and become a little pear shaped because the good person we thought we knew in the last story is really an evil witch and the evil witch we saw originally was just a misunderstood victim of a brutal and sad childhood.

Grimm brothers’ tales were darker and more honest where the children are sent away into the forest where they can be attacked by wolves or witches in candy sugar coated gingerbread houses. It is always the stepmother that commands the kind loving but helpless father of the children to do her bidding which he does obligingly even though he loves his children he still abandons them for a bit of tail. The evil witch is once again a woman but it will be the clever boy who has the wily sense to drop the moonstones or breadcrumbs to mark the way home, and use a chicken bone to trick the witch into believing he was not getting fat then together the brother and sister make a plan to escape by killing the witch and finding their way home to live happily ever after with dear old dad, who was such a sap the wife left him for the brave and gallant woodcutter.

Life is not a fairy tale but the truth of abandonment, abuse and bullying still exist today – the only difference is the father is often the evil lead in the story and although the forest is now built up with other houses around and thin walls, surrounding families do not interfere in the private business of others and despite hearing the wails and cries of the woman and children turn a blind eye and ear to it.

Statistics will tell us that the very high percentile majority 90+ percent of victims in domestic abuse are women and children and laws have been made to try and protect them from raging bull men in their lives. Police are called to intervene time and time again, the charge is withdrawn, the woman goes back to him and the cycle repeats like a stuck record. Can we blame her if we feed her the Disney diet of the woman is at fault, they are the evil ones – leading her to self-blame shame. And believing the tale the only way out is to be saved by the man with a sword. There is no happy ever after without the man.

The law offers a trespass notice – a piece of paper that says the man must stay away, keep his distance and leave her alone. It works as well as a hole in a bucket to contain him and his actions. Our own police were against a family law that brought in a protection order that could be laid upon an offender with no proof of action and no warning to the offender. This was to help those vulnerable in life threatening situations. The police rightly saw the potential for abuse of the law and so now as predicted it is not an action used to protect abuse victims, it is more often used by family to kick others off the family land they are protecting? Or coveting for themselves. Police now hand out these immediate orders without cause or communication like instant fire raffle tickets on land disputes. If by chance she resists the temptation or threats that lead her to withdraw her charges against him she then must fight the evil warlocks in the witness docks of the court – where she undergoes more abuse from men in wigs or comb-overs who also read the fairytale and believe the woman is evil and put the man under a spell.

They plead the innocent man, they say he is a businessman and needs to leave the country, run away, travel the world because they are important, they are kind and they deserve respect. The man pleads guilty, pays bribe money to hush the victim from exposing their wounds from the sword on her outside and ignore the wounds on her inside. Regardless the king of the country and his minions gather to give accolades and enable the man to parade as a hero to the community – we must let him live his life unshackled because we like him – he is a nice guy. Ted Bundy was a nice guy and look how that turned out in The End.