I rarely experience writer’s block, but this is the hardest column I’ve ever attempted. After more than a decade of writing ‘Virtues in Paradise’ for the Cook Islands News, this is my final column, writes Linda Kavelin-Popov.

It’s truly bittersweet to say goodbye to the home of our heart, but it has become unsustainable for us to stay. At this age, we need support services and financial support unavailable here. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” After prayer and reflection, my husband Dr. Dan Popov and I have made the difficult decision to return to Hawaii for our final season.

Our current role is as mental health and wellbeing volunteers for Solutions Cook Islands primarily on Aitutaki, Dan as a clinical psychologist and I as a psychiatric social worker and hospice spiritual care provider. We’re deeply grateful to Solutions founder Marie Francis for this opportunity.

As founders of The Virtues Project, we have woven virtues through all that we do. In this last column, I’ve decided not to try to produce gems of wisdom to be posted on the fridge – well, maybe a few – but to share some special memories.

We left once before and Araura College gave me a party. One boy was meant to give a speech but felt too shy. I whispered, “Call on your courage!” He immediately stood up and spoke confidently. Another special memory was the first time a two-year-old girl living next door on Aitutaki ran over early in the morning to play. This became a lifelong relationship, adopting one another’s families. The first time she read at age four, it was words I wrote in the sand with a stick (mop, top, pop). We had many drawing contests, usually castles and princesses, and she always won. I’m a writer, not an artist! Now, at 14, she is a superb illustrator and we’re creating a book of children’s virtues stories together. Another special memory is when people started calling me and Dan Mama and Papa. We felt accepted and cared for. After starting a Virtues Club at Vaitau primary, as soon as we drove up, the children shouted out our names and came running to be “helpful” carrying our bags of supplies. My heart swells whenever locals introduce us to visiting family or tourists, and say, “They’re locals.”

Generosity is a core virtue here. When someone is in need, others respond. The dedication and excellence in dance, music, drumming and ceremonies is a testimony to love of the culture. Cook Islanders love to laugh. It’s a special kind of music wherever you go. Aitutakians have a particularly cheeky brand of humour. I once asked a bus driver in Rarotonga who was holding forth with hilarious one-liners and jokes if he was from Aitutaki. He looked shocked and asked, “How did you know?” I said, “It’s your cheeky humour.”  

Dan recently said, “The Cook Islands isn’t Paradise, but it could be.” We have recently seen funding dry up for a weekly programme I facilitated for seniors. They miss it terribly. If the government reflected the virtues in the soul of this community and culture, such as generosity in meeting basic needs, it would be a Paradise indeed.

That being said, we’ve worked side by side with dedicated individuals serving the community in probation, education, health care, disabilities and other frontline positions. They are unsung heroes making a big difference with their kindness, compassion, respect and gentleness toward vulnerable and challenged souls.

A legacy I’d like to leave is the Language of Virtues. Parents and teachers need to realise these are sons and daughters of God you’re educating. Treat them accordingly. Replace negative nicknames and labels which can scar a child for life with virtues words. Not “You’re so lazy” but “You need to be helpful”. Catch them in the act of being helpful, kind, thoughtful, or courageous. Instead of hidings, give them clear boundaries with consequences that are meaningful, and they will learn.

We will always remember the love and trust you have given to us and will continue to pray for the wellbeing of this small gem of exquisite beauty and its people. Meitaki atupaka for unforgettable memories we will cherish forever.