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Smoke Signals


Heard a funny real-life story or something out of the ordinary? Lighthearted Smoke Signals will be accepted for our opinion pages by e-mail ( This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. ), text to 188 or a phone call to the newsroom on 22999. Please note, material that goes beyond the bounds of decent taste or is defamatory is not likely to be used. Don’t forget to give us your name and contact number in case we need to check details and verify facts. All correspondence is confidential.


Go on, smoke it!

How often do your pens stop working before ink is out? More plastic rubbish. School bins see many. If writing by hand, can we encourage the use of pencils instead? Organic waste is a better way to go.

No fussin’ with Rasmussen

Wednesday January 31, 2018

A smoke signaller has rushed to lawyer Wilkie Rasmussen’s defence after the seasoned former politician came under attack last week. “Wilkie’s experience and maturity go a long way towards making a good politician.”

Wise words from an Aussie teacher

Monday January 29, 2018

A reader has sent in quote from Eddie Woo, who he says is arguably Australia’s most famous maths teacher: “To all the children out there, I want you to understand from my story … (that) suffering doesn’t define you, what other people say to you or call you doesn’t define you: what you choose to do with the opportunities you’ve got, that’s what defines you.

Heard people complain their dog tags have been stolen!  So easy to slip a friendly dog’s collar off and place it on an unregistered dog.

Good on you, Bill

Monday January 22, 2018

Well done to Bill Doherty for repatriating your foreign worker for non-performance.

Build it and they will come again

Thursday January 18, 2018

Interesting that China is now committing to fix their shoddy workmanship on the police headquarters, the Ministry of Justice building and the sports arena.

What’s up with the dismal creatures who stole 100 pineapples from a local gardener recently? Have they no scruples, no conscience at all? Let’s hope they get caught, and soon. The sharp end of a pineapple might make a useful tool with which to exact punishment.

Thumbs down for Jetstar

Friday January 05, 2018

Where else in the world but the Cook Islands would a jet loaded with passengers arrive in the middle of the night minus all of their luggage? A big thumbs-down to Jetstar for failing to explain anywhere near adequately why this appalling incident happened – or how it is that the other few airlines seem able to get here with everyone’s bags aboard.

After the debacle in which George Pitt is said to have offered the Demo Party a deal to get them into government with Internal Affairs minister Albert Nicholas as prime minister, Nicholas made a statement in parliament.

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