‘We’d sooner listen to mock parliament’

Friday March 10, 2017 Published in Smoke Signals

“This week the newspapers and radio announced a mock government for the purpose of women getting a look at how to sit in parliament and as practice to encourage more women to go for careers in politics,” a smoke signaller says.

“When I listened in, however, it sounded more like a real sitting and not like the silly sessions we are used to that involve the glossing over of important policies by the CIP – when they decide to sit, that is. I believe the current government makes a mockery of parliament.

LOVE TO ROSIE BLAKE

“The front page update on Cook Islands consul Rosie Blake and her “miracle” recovery was heart-warming news,” a smoke signaller says. “I am sure that all Cook Islander will join me in send our love and best wishes to her and her family during her recuperation.”

NO CHECK POSSIBLE

“Is it by design or just by incompetence that it can be impossible to log on to Bluesky “usage” to check one’s broadband?” a smoke signaller asks. Can’t find out what we’ve used, so we just keep using. Is that the idea?

MILE A MINUTE SOLUTION

Agriculture’s efforts to fight mile a minute vine with an imported fungus don’t seem to be going anywhere, so how about a different approach, a smoke signaller suggests. “Round up all of these men who are convicted of assaulting women and put them to work around the island ripping out mile a minute by the roots. There’s no lack of men who assault woman and there’s’ enough mile a minute to keep 10 gangs of people busy for the next 550 years or so.

THAT LAW AGAIN…

When are the police going to give up on enforcing our silly helmet law – or have they given up already, a smoke signaller asks. “Every day when I drive into town I see young local people racing around with safety helmets. Quite a high proportion of tourists seem to wear them though – and I believe that’s because the police continually target the visitors and completely ignore the locals.”

SUCCESSFUL VENTURE

“Good on the people who set up the new fish and chip shop in Arorangi,” a smoke signaller says. “They always seem to be incredibly busy, so obviously they are doing a great job. It’s a great example of what can be achieved by a good idea and the will and hard work necessary to bring it to reality.”

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