What marriage Is and is not

Friday February 05, 2016 Written by Published in Church Talk

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh” – Genesis 2: 24; Ephesians 5: 31.


LEAVE (Akaruke) + CLEAVE (Tatomo) + WEAVE (Rangaranga) = PEACE OF MIND (Tupu te Au).

The Creation of Man (according to Holy Scripture): “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul (1st Human CPR Mouth through Nose Resuscitation)” (Gen. 2: 7).

The Creation of Woman (according to Holy Scripture): “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept (1st human anesthesia): and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof (1st human surgery). And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman (1st human transplant), and brought her unto the man (1st human kind not from the dust of the earth but of man).

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man (1st recognition and acknowledgement of another human kind from the side of man)” (Gen. 2:  21 – 23).

The First Marriage (according to Holy Scripture): “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” 2: 24, 25; (1st total and complete bonding of true Godly Marriage without suspicion and shame for they ultimately and solely belong one unto another – total exposure of nakedness, conscience and innocence because that’s what they are meant for, to no other but one flesh and one male/female union in marriage only and forever).

LEAVE :All embryos conceived within any female’s womb must in due times be born in order to survive, grow and develop into a fuller and more mature living creature. Cruel it may seem to watch a mother eagle push her baby off a cliff, yet not allowing the young eaglet to learn to fly independently deprives that little bird the chance to survive and live her life to the fullest.

Making a small incision in a cocoon to save a baby butterfly from all her struggles for release also kills the chance for that poor creature to grow into a caterpillar and later on into a beautiful full grown butterfly.

Sending children away to attend school, college and university abroad is one saddest timeS for every parent yet the most rewarding and joyous moment is when children return with prospective academic and career achievements.

This same principle applies in marriage. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”.

No man is ever ready to marry unless he is ready to leave the comfort and convenience of home and ready to take on full responsibility as homemaker for his newly wedded wife. Before any son, daughter or parent ever decides for a marriage, one need to answer some very simple and personal questions. Would I be able to let go of my son or daughter to take on a new loving and long-lasting relationship away from home?

Would I be able to let go of home, mum and dad, brothers, sisters and family for the one that I have chosen to be my lifetime wife?

Would I be able, or am I ready to start a family, taking full responsibility for their upkeep, providing them the means to self-sufficiency and utmost potential for personal growth.  Many marriages fail because many parents or families still want to hold on to their sons or daughters than let them sail their own boats and canoes, each weathering all kinds of stormy and challenging experiences that life often brings.

 Leaving in this context does not necessarily mean severing one’s relationship with parents, family and siblings totally but rather, it is allowing the husband time and space to establish authority as head over his own home, where his wife feels and appreciates being queen in a place she can rightly call her own home.

Paul in Ephesians 5: 23 clearly defines the role of a husband as such: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and he is the saviour of the body”. Not only is he head but foremost a saviour of the whole body. Instead of sitting at the top as head in the home, he must come down to pick up the whole family from the bottom as saviour to save the whole marriage.

Wives are considered as “weaker vessels” and that it is man’s duty to give honour unto the wife, failing to do so hinders man’s prayer to God ( 1 Peter 3: 7). Marriage was not only the very first human institution that God established, the very first also that the devil attacked and still remains to be the most attacked of all human institutions. Zechariah 13: 7 warns, “Smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered…”. The husband is always the image of the shepherd in every marriage and home. Where a husband fails as a shepherd, saviour, protector, defender, provider, supplier, initiator, comforter, prophet, priest, king and head of the home; the sheep or children become vulnerable, open to many unseen and unknown harm and dangers.

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed” (Amos 3: 3).

May God bless, save, restore and reconcile all marriages in Jesus Name.

Have a safe and blessed Jesus weekend.

Bishop Tutai Pere


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